Sometimes I think a lot on night shifts and other times, I simply survive.
Tonight is a thinking night. The unit is quiet, all of our little munchkins sound asleep- for the moment. It was a beautiful day today. I caught about an hour of sun before I began driving down the highway, windows down, music blaring, singing at the top of my lungs. It felt good.
Tonight feels good, too; there is so much running through my head. Thoughts of now, thoughts of later, "what-if's", and "how's about's". I've been praying for a few specific things lately. Over and over, pounding the throne of Heaven with the same two or three requests. I'm glad my God is faithful. When these requests are answered, or move forward, it will be an amazing adventure.
I just keep thinking of Matthew 6. The chapter that tells us not to worry about tomorrow, to ask and ask, and to realize that God knows what we need. Oh goodness. I can't count the number of times I've sunk down to my floor, opened up to the same spot and read these few verses over the last few years. Many circumstances have worried me, many I have wrestled with, and many nights I've laid awake, finally laying whatever is it down because of sheer necesscity and lack of anything better to do. Aren't you so glad for those moments?
I read on a friend's site a few days ago that a definition for faith is this:
Full persuasion, total confidence, absolute certainty.
I want to be fully persuaded, to never have a doubt in my heart, to trust with the eyes of a child. Unfortunately, last time I checked, I wasn't done growing, so I'm still a bit short of my goal.
:)
All of this has lead me to one conclusion. I must pray. Pray for specific needs, pray for healing, pray for change, pray for more of Holy Spirit, pray for faith, and the list goes on. So, I'm praying. I'll let you all know how it turns out.
P.S. - new pictures coming soon. I've been busy.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
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1 comment:
It is so hard sometimes to just trust in Him. Whenever that comes up I always feel drawn back to Mark 9 where the father is talking to Jesus and he asks Jesus to heal his son "if he can".
I feel like that father alot. There are times when I pray for certain things and I struggle to not include that "if you can" in there somewhere. As though I'm telling God that I understand if this request is too much for you to handle.
That's not right. Not only can God "handle" my requests, He KNOWS what I need more than I do.
"“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”
The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”"
I think alot of us have to cry out to God in that fashion.
I believe Lord that You keep Your promises and that You hear me and bless me with the provision of my needs, and help me, Lord, when the doubt is tugging at my heart and I lose my focus to remind me of Your faithfulness.
Anyway, Kristen, I pray that God does respond to your prayers and He tells you clearly the answers that you seek and most importantly that you are able to rest and trust in the Lord to provide.
Hope you're having a good day of sleep. Sad you couldn't make it to church. Clara spoke about Holy Spirit today for her mother's day sermon and it actually dealt a bit with what you wrote in your post.
Have a good mother's day. My mom shut off her phone so I'm trying to reach her through my dad or my sister. And I'll see ya at some point in time.
God bless you!
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