I am seldom honest with myself.
Tell the truth now, are you completely honest with yourself? I'm not. It's hard. When you are completely honest with yourself, you have to admit your shortcomings, your irrational feelings, your scary doubts, your horrendous fears, in short your "ugly".
No one wants to be ugly. We all want to be pretty. I want to be pretty. (Pretty "beautiful", to be specific.) sigh.
But I've realized something today. If I am not honest with myself (and with Jesus), all I am doing is standing around in my muddy dirty clothes yelling, "I'm clean, I'm pure, I'm okay!" Um, that's sort of crazy and ridiculous, don't you think? But we all do it!
The truth is, I am a muddy, dirty, ugly sinner.
I am. I am far from pretty as it gets. This flesh STINKS.
I NEED JESUS.
I need to be washed clean.
I need the blood of Jesus to cover me.
I need more (and MORE) of His grace to do what He's asked.
I need truckloads of His mercy (and GRACE and WISDOM and LOVE) to be honestly me.
I need Him to do it, because I can't.
I need to know He loves me.
I need to feel His love.
But mostly, I need to be honestly ME (He likes me.).
and you know what, when I'm honest, when I sit in sunshine and confess to Him that I'm unhappy, that I'm frustrated, that I don't understand and I need Him to fix it....i like me, too.
Surprising how much better you feel when the world's not resting on your shoulders.