Cravings

I worked today and I think 50 BILLION people offered me a cupcake.

Ok.

Only one! But it was SO hard to turn it down. I was proud that I didn't have a moments hesitation. I immediately said, "Oh, no thank you. But thank you!" That's something, right?? But it did make my mouth water, just a tiny bit. Or a tiny lot. A lot.

Then one of the girls at work was eating this gorgeously large chocolate chip cookie, and some of my kids got yummy things on their tray, and I talked about pancakes with a four year old when he woke up for the day at 3pm.

(Yes, 3pm. We mess up kid's sleep schedules in the hospital...some families come to us like that, though. Anyway, back to food.)

Right now I am home from work, just ate an amazing salad and I still want sugar. I think I'll have a gluten-free apple muffin with soft butter instead....but I'm wishing for jelly inside.

Really, I think abstaining from a lot of sugar is good. I ate too much of it, really. I was and am an emotional eater. I eat just to eat and to feel thing in my mouth and belly. A full stomach is comforting to me.It's like I used chocolate like anti-depressants. Don't feel good? Get some chocolate. Hard day? Have some chocolate. I lean on food and depend on sugary food more than I would care to admit.

So, this is good for me, but it's hard.

These things I know:
- it won't always be like this
- that there WILL be an adjustment time
- anything worth doing is hard
- if this is going to help my headaches and clear the way for the Lord's will to be done in my life, much will be coming up against me. (I'm expecting it and relying fully on Jesus at this point. He protects me and sustains me, always.)

Pray for me when you think of me, please.
Pray that God would heal my headaches completely and that He would give me strength and wisdom to sustain this new diet-life-style. Amen!