It was a good, hard day today.
The day started out pretty rough. I had quite the attitude at work first thing in the morning. I was trying not to, but seriously, if my mom had been there, I would have asked to be grounded. I had a thousand excuses, but none seem sufficient now.
I prayed early on for help, because I knew how yucky I was being. The Lord decided to help by making me more conscious of how awful my attitude was. Sigh.
I can say that I tried today. I can't say how much I succeeded.
It just makes me more aware of how much I need the Lord. It's been a rough two weeks of switching back and forth from night shift to day shift and I'm pretty emotional from the lack of sleep. I haven't met with the Lord like I have wanted to these past few days, and it shows. Without the Lord, I am a mean, petty, selfish person. He is necessary for my life. He is necessary for me. He is necessary for His sake alone.
It's like when I have the Lord, when I've met with Him and felt his absolute goodness, mercy and grace on me, my heart can't help but be softened. My spirit can finally sit it's bum right on my flesh for once and have victory. When I are with Him, I want to be more like Him. It's a funny thing, but true.
The day ended well. I was able to overcome most of the attitude (I think.) I went for a walk. I swung on the swings across the street from my house, tilted my head back and felt the sun on my face. I got to enjoy the sun, instead of hiding from it. It's so funny how much I LOVE the sun. I actually almost cried the other night when I turned off my light to go to sleep, because my room was DARK. It was pitch black dark. (!!!) It was so amazing to go to bed without having to hide my head under my covers so the sun won't keep me up.
Tonight, I am celebrating the Lord's victory in my life, making cards for a friend, doing laundry and relaxing. No matter how many bad days I have, I know that the Lord will always draw my heart back to His. He's necessary.